i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
be right there i have to get my cape
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
