I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
