i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
