And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
