Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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