Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
