Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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