fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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