i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
