I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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