and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
