What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
