shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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