I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
