we have officially lost it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
