My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
