you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
