also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
