The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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