Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
