So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
