google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
