dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the room spins SO much faster in panama
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
