What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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