You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
