The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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