Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
