Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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