That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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