no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
