I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
