Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
