I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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