He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
