she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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