i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
