oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She said her name was "party"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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