Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
