literally had 100 drinks last night.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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