I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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