i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
