Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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