Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
