ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
