that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
