Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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