Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
