I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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