Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
