where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
